tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14075046436217301542024-03-13T16:19:03.615-04:00Sandwiches, anyone?...an exploration of the complexities inherent in middle life, with all the sandwiches they catch us in: between young and old, between artistic and practical, between proactive and reactive, between generous and self-interested. Expect no simple answers here!NancyHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14875884916058328777noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1407504643621730154.post-81384820803945766842012-11-19T08:26:00.000-05:002012-11-19T08:26:59.961-05:00Thanksgiving thoughts...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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This year Thanksgiving looks a
little different from our usual. For one
thing, we are giving thanks for normalcy, in the guise of heat, hot water, and
electricity, and keeping in mind our many, many fellow-citizens without any
semblance of their usual Thanksgiving traditions. Second, our faithful Thanksgiving guests are
not coming to dinner (a previous engagement on a cruise) and won’t be bringing my
friend’s excellent Bourbon sweet potato casserole—a great disappointment to my
daughter, who dotes on it even though she dislikes liquor of all kinds. <o:p></o:p></div>
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My dad, at nearly 102, has been
invited to dinner at the home of his friend Sylvia, who has extended this
kindness to him for many years. As
usual, he is planning to make a pecan pie, long the favorite of Sylvia’s late
husband, Doug. This year, I think he
will need some help with this endeavor, but one of his caregivers is a fine
baker and has already gone over the recipe with him to ensure he has all the
ingredients at the ready. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In spite of the fact that we
could make the effort behind this day mostly optional, we will celebrate with a
significant dinner. <br>
</div><a href="http://complexitysandwiches.blogspot.com/2012/11/thanksgiving-thoughts.html#more">Read more »</a>NancyHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14875884916058328777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1407504643621730154.post-68295937513886217082012-11-04T13:34:00.000-05:002012-11-04T13:34:32.294-05:00Catch a tiger by the tail…
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Hurricanes may be somewhat exciting in the occurrence, but they are no fun in the long run. This is a truth that everyone on the eastern
coast of the US comes to understand eventually.
As a child I lived in Connecticut, about five miles inland from Long
Island Sound, during the two hurricanes that hit in the summer of 1955. I remember walking around through the house
independent of my very edgy parents, being secretly thrilled by the sound of
the wind and the sight of bushes and trees whipping to and fro when I peeked
around the venetian blinds to see what made the noise. After that, owing to an inland address over
the years, I’ve had little direct contact with serious hurricane activity until
this week, when Sandy marched ashore in southern New Jersey and reconfigured
too many lives. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Once again, the storm itself did
not seem too awful where I live (in the north) when it was going on. Rain and wind notwithstanding, our most
exciting moment came when Steve went out to the garage (20 or so yards from the
kitchen door) after we lost power at supper time on Monday night</div>
<a href="http://complexitysandwiches.blogspot.com/2012/11/catch-tiger-by-tail.html#more">Read more »</a>NancyHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14875884916058328777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1407504643621730154.post-43224355211980801662012-03-12T12:45:00.000-04:002012-03-12T12:45:34.843-04:00Attractive reading...<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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I have been reading stories and poems lately on <u>cowbird.com</u>,
a site that allows people to publish work they want to have others read and to
solicit readers’ comments. I have been a
“lurker” so far, just reading some of the “Daily stories” that come to me in
email. Yesterday’s poem, about the
fragility of everything around us, made me think how much my mother would have
enjoyed the freedom and access of the Internet.
Writing was a very personal, intimate thing for her—I don’t think she
would have put her work up for others to read very easily at all—but she would
have loved not having to wait for a book to arrive in order to read new work. <o:p></o:p></div>
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One of my mother’s most treasured affiliations, in her later
years, </div>
<a href="http://complexitysandwiches.blogspot.com/2012/03/attractive-reading.html#more">Read more »</a>NancyHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14875884916058328777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1407504643621730154.post-37676433445357081952012-03-11T13:54:00.000-04:002012-03-11T13:54:45.345-04:00Hello, again!<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I haven’t written in a long time, but I haven’t abandoned
the idea of this blog. Its premise still
pulls me. I think my absence had to do
with reexamining what a blog is for and how it is most likely to please its
author <i>and</i> its readers. My favorite blogs for reading make me feel as
if I shared an office or a sitting room with the author. </div>
<a href="http://complexitysandwiches.blogspot.com/2012/03/hello-again.html#more">Read more »</a>NancyHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14875884916058328777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1407504643621730154.post-28530255602902990062011-08-25T20:49:00.000-04:002011-08-25T20:49:04.415-04:00The Anniversary Sandwich -- a Lobster Roll...and re-Roll<br>
<div class="MsoNormal">It’s our forty-third wedding anniversary and, recognizing our sandwich obligations, we elected not to even try to go out for dinner this evening…our daughter, J, would be sooo lonely if we did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has been a hell of a week—the refrigerator died and was resuscitated temporarily, J’s sprained ankle is continuing to cause suffering, work was not wonderful, there is a hurricane on the way for the weekend…need I say more?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can—I believe the other side of our sandwich has forgotten the day all together--not a problem, but another small passage as he moves toward 101 years old.</div><a href="http://complexitysandwiches.blogspot.com/2011/08/anniversary-sandwich-lobster-rolland-re.html#more">Read more »</a>NancyHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14875884916058328777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1407504643621730154.post-6893766460653741982011-06-26T22:09:00.000-04:002011-06-26T22:09:50.879-04:00What memory does...<div class="MsoNormal">Tonight, as my father headed off to bed about 8:15, he gestured toward the front windows, drapes still open onto the porch and lilacs, the distant street <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>still dimly visible in the fading light.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I went across to pull the tangled cord, I was suddenly transported back to my own eight-year-old self, at the same time of night, already in my seersucker nightgown and single bed, peering out the window at my mother and father raking cut grass on the lawn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They spoke happily to one another, sometimes close, sometimes farther apart with voices raised, working together in the twilight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I so wanted to be still a part of their world as I had been half an hour before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I strained to hear them, but their efforts moved them off, until I heard them coming into the back yard, the porch, the kitchen, their voices low and quiet now, conscious of their sleeping daughter—not yet, of course, but soon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal">This is the switching of memory with now, making new memories to be recalled in years to come, when he, too, is gone from present life. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes it makes me dizzy to think how back-and-forth we are as time passes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How much more so it must be when life is nearly all behind one, with little likely time ahead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Perhaps that is what makes the inward-turning aspect that overtakes the old—where nothing in the world around them is as compelling as their inner thoughts. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Must be, they’re listening to the past full time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>NancyHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14875884916058328777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1407504643621730154.post-30526978934876999212011-06-25T09:57:00.000-04:002011-06-25T09:57:10.159-04:00"First, do no harm..."<div class="MsoNormal">It’s too bad educators don’t take some version of the Hippocratic oath…“First, do no harm.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It would be more difficult to define than it is for Drs, of course.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Harm seems fairly easy to define for a physician—if an action kills the patient, that’s harm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If they take the wrong leg, or don’t consider the side effects of a new medication, that’s harm.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For teachers, it’s not so easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some might say that teachers don’t have students’ lives in their hands, but we know they do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Don’t kill the spirit, don’t let your own prejudices show through, don’t deny students’ creativity – so intangible, so different in each situation, so nebulous.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet I think there is a sensible and positive way that teachers <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and</i></b> educational leaders could promise not to do harm in our schools.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I promise…</div><a href="http://complexitysandwiches.blogspot.com/2011/06/first-do-no-harm.html#more">Read more »</a>NancyHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14875884916058328777noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1407504643621730154.post-42855344763049326742011-05-13T19:48:00.000-04:002011-05-13T19:48:07.488-04:00Autism should be listening, too...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 17px;"></span></span><br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"></span><br>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"><div class="MsoNormal">As a person who works on behalf of children with disabilities almost 24/7, and who understands from an inside perspective what the term “disability” means to a family and a person, I must express my dismay at the media’s initial reaction to recently released research on the prevalence of Autism. Researchers working with South Korean children and families have reportedly identified a broad population of individuals with features of Autism who bring the ratio of incidence of the disorder from 1 in 110 (already shockingly frequent) to 1 in 38! Ultimately, this means that we can expect almost one in three of the toddlers in our homes and the students in our schools to show evidence of disordered development that can be recognized as within the range of Autistic Spectrum Disorders. </div><div class="MsoNormal">I found the recent discussion of this result in mainstream programming very challenging. On the Today Show (NBC), Dr. Nancy Snyderman, who is the program’s medical expert and knowledgeable on many issues that impact on the health of children and adults, suggested that this means there are many children in the population who have gone undiagnosed and untreated. She suggested that these children, previously missed, should and would now be recognized and receive remedial/rehabilitative services from medical entities and schools. The discussion swooped low over Silicon Valley, where many high functioning but nerdy, quirky people are now considered OK—successful, even—but would, with this redefinition, be revisualized as having an Autistic Spectrum Disorder. My question is, “Why?!”<br>
</div></span><a href="http://complexitysandwiches.blogspot.com/2011/05/autism-should-be-listening-too.html#more">Read more »</a>NancyHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14875884916058328777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1407504643621730154.post-77806209667370917582011-05-13T19:42:00.000-04:002011-05-13T19:42:18.503-04:00“Blogging Against Disablism Day” is May 1st, 2011<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">I’ll admit I’ve shied away from writing about the other side of my “sandwich” from my Dad’s—that is, about my daughter. This is not because of what I would write about her impact on my life, but because she is much more likely to read it and that conveys, to me, a much greater responsibility to consider her feelings and wishes. Today, though, it may be time. I’ve just read a “tweet” from a colleague advising me that tomorrow, May 1<sup>st</sup>, is Blogging Against Disablism Day, or BADD. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnePyklbGFJHtMXMMmroDG9f63rf3UKg3h932ndkdMdjrOag2Y6tNueTx7uHJYCIHlnfOUy1Vzr2qadGepTgS3eutCk66Eh7K4y_brdxd69jCP4SmFUdesEtONc2-eO-h7HjcS5RM4UlY/s1600-h/badd02.gif">badd02.gif</a> is a link to the symbol for the day, and <a href="http://bit.ly/j48odZ">http://bit.ly/j48odZ</a> is a link to the blog that is hosting the event. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">Since about the age of two, my daughter has struggled under a variety of disabilities—none terribly severe, in and of themselves, but in accumulation, seriously limiting. I have come to believe, gradually, that the most disabling aspect of these various learning, behavioral, and emotional struggles has been the fact that she accepts them as a “disability.” <br>
</div><a href="http://complexitysandwiches.blogspot.com/2011/04/blogging-against-disablism-day-is-may.html#more">Read more »</a>NancyHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14875884916058328777noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1407504643621730154.post-54952837219759258482011-03-21T20:29:00.000-04:002011-03-21T20:29:15.217-04:00Today, the sandwich is Pancakes!!!<div class="MsoNormal">Well, the month is almost over, Spring arrived yesterday and we are due for some snow today. This is my <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">third</i> attempt to put together a blog post for the month and today I may make it. It turns out that, for all the ideas I had prior to launching this experiment, few are good enough, expandable enough, or sufficiently relatable to the theme I’ve chosen to make it to the page.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Today, I’m writing about Buckwheat Pancakes. I just made some for me and my father, and he actually ate a second helping—this is good because at 100, you have to keep up your calorie intake or you lose weight. The pancakes were unusually good today for a couple of reasons. One is that I accidentally recooled the melted butter and it spread through the batter in little pills of fat—I think that does something slightly different, and good, to the suspension and makes the pancakes lighter. The second reason was that, after fearing we had totally run out of maple syrup, I found a small gift jug in the back of a cabinet, unopened. Talk about saved from disaster!</div><a href="http://complexitysandwiches.blogspot.com/2011/03/today-sandwich-is-pancakes.html#more">Read more »</a>NancyHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14875884916058328777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1407504643621730154.post-58625231334525003762011-02-02T21:02:00.001-05:002011-03-21T20:07:28.549-04:00Groundhog Day, again<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 6.0pt;">Today is Groundhog Day, February 2, 2011 and the Groundhog has been reluctant to peek out of his several burrows, let alone forecast the arrival of spring—Groundhog events are in doubt all over the eastern US because of terrible weather. My own self-exposure in this blog has been similarly slow to develop…talk about low expectations. I set my sights on one post per month and I have already not met the beginning of that deadline. We are having an ice storm, however, and that gives me a small window to look through at the bleak weather and into which to put a reflection or two, because there is no school today. <br>
</div><a href="http://complexitysandwiches.blogspot.com/2011/02/groundhog-day-again.html#more">Read more »</a>NancyHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14875884916058328777noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1407504643621730154.post-41358853907649311622011-01-01T20:09:00.000-05:002011-03-21T20:26:47.308-04:00A New Year and a New Blog, together on the very same dayGood New Year, Anyone who might be reading! This is my very first post to this blog, which is likely to be weirdly idiosyncratic--I hope it will also be interesting and at least sometimes thought-provoking. The title comes from the "sandwich generation," of which I am a member with some serious credentials. <br>
While I propose to explore a lot of different kinds of "sandwiches" (or inconsistencies/contradictions), in the course of writing this blog, my primary sandwich has me and my husband as filling. We are hard-working people, baby-boomers, who came of age in the late 60's, married just out of college, and have stuck together ever since. Our "bread," at this point, consists of our daughter, who is 38, lives with us, and has some challenging disabilities, and my father. He does not live with us but he is a strong influence in our lives. To expand this introductory post, I'll begin with him--he is my history and a huge piece of the gateway to who I am.<br>
<a href="http://complexitysandwiches.blogspot.com/2011/01/new-year-and-new-blog-together-on-very.html#more">Read more »</a>NancyHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14875884916058328777noreply@blogger.com3